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Karyn's Ripping Off Nick's Idea Awards
Written and posted by Karyn (WBSellout)
1/2/98
**WARNING**
This post contains ficticious conversations. If you have no imagination or sense of humour, it'd be in your best interests to move along.
"Hi, kids. Sorry I'm late with this, but Sunnydale is a hectic place around the holiday season and Willow wouldn't get off the computer long enough for me to post. So, here I am, live from Sunnydale, California! You're in for a great time tonight, because we're broadcasting from THE Sunnydale High School Library, and I've got some good company. Yes, that's right, folks, joining me for this awards presentation are those fine Sunnydale natives that we all love so much. Say hi, guys!
Buffy: HI!
Willow: Um... hello!
Xander: Is this live?
Giles: Xander! Don't knock over the tea--
Oops, looks like we had a little spill there. That's okay, the janitor will get it. Providing he's not a creature of the night. Ha ha. Well, let's begin, shall we? Will, you wanna hand me the envelope, there?
Willow: This one?
No, the other one... yeah. Okay. The first category is:
JOSS' MOST OBSCURE CONCEPT OF THE YEAR:
Well, there were a lot different answers, ranging from Moloch the Internet Demon --
Willow: Could we not mention him, please?
-- to hyena posession --
Xander: To this day I still do NOT remember what happened.
-- but, the best answer was that none of the idea were obscure, because all of these stories are, in fact, true.
Buffy: Don't I know it.
On to category number two:
BEST USE OF STYROFOAM AS A MONSTER:
Willow: Isn't styrofoam enough of a monster in itself? I mean, depleting the ozone and --
Xander: Will, I think they meant "effects-wise."
Willow: Oh. Well then, I'd vote for the Snake Monster in the frat house. That was scary.
Xander: Well, you obviously weren't the one wearing the wig and the bra and made to publicly humiliate yourself, now, were you?
Willow: What!?
Buffy: Somethin' you wanna share with us, there, Xander?
Xander: Nevermind.
Uh, next category...
MOMENT WHERE YOU SCREAMED THE LOUDEST OUT OF FEAR:
Latvian Bug Man
Ted coming back to life.
It was a tie.
Willow: Those were both scary moments.
Xander: You weren't there for either of them, how would you know?
Cordy (entering) Sorry, I'm late. There was a line.
That's fine. But now that the awards are nearly over, there's really no need for the crepe paper. Well, you're just in time. You and Xander were very much a part of the next category.
Cordy: Neato.
Xander: Uhh... What's the next category?
MOMENT WHERE YOU SCREAMED THE LOUDEST OUT OF JOYOUS EXCITEMENT:
Well, for a few, it was when Willow and Oz finally met...
Buffy: Go Willow!
Willow: (blushing)
But, for the masses it was that moment in Buffy's basement, when Cordy and Xander finally--
Willow: Xander! Let go of Karyn!
Buffy: Um, Cordelia, why are you covering her mouth with your hand?
Cordy: She, uh... she...
Xander: She... uh... Promised to let us announce this category!
Cordy: Yeah!
Buffy: So... when you and Xander finally...
Xander: Um... finally...
Cordy: Finally... worked together to solve a problem.
Xander: Yes. Teamwork. Together.
Buffy Much like you're doing now?
Ow. Thank you for finally letting go. I guess it's in my best interest to just move on to the next category?
Xander: I'd say "yes."
GILES' SEXIEST MOMENT:
Xander: Wait. He went in his office. GILES!!
Giles: What??!
Willow: They're about to announce your award.
Giles: (enters, looking slightly mussed, Ms. Calender in tow) Well??
Hmm... well, someone said that Giles never had one...
Ms. Calendar: I beg to differ...
But... there were other votes...such as, when he was kicking the crap out of Ethan... most of The Dark Age... ah, here's a good one, "when he 's holding popcorn, drinks and banners" from SAR... his "squirmy" moments...
Xander: One of which we may have interrupted...
...and Natalie must take after Ms. Calender, since she answered "He's a sexy fuddy duddy. I'm supposed to pick one?"
And the final category... Willow's --- Xander, what are you doing?
Xander: It was a drum... roll...
Cordy: Or a pathetic attempt at one...
Xander: What, so now you hate my drum rolls??
Cordy: I didn't say anything like that, I said---
HEY! Can't you wait till the awards are over before you start doing... teamwork things?
Cordy We're sorry.
Xander: We'll be good.
Okay. The category is:
WILLOW'S SEXIEST MOMENT:
Willow: (blushing) My what?!!
Halloween... especially walking by the Ozmobile. Very popular.
And there you are, folks. The Karyn's Ripping Off Nick's Idea Awards live from Sunnydale, CA. Um... I'd better go... Giles and Jenny went back into the office, Cordy and Xander left for the utility closet and Buffy and Willow are giving each other funny looks... join us next year for volume two!!
THE END
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