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The 2nd Annual Ramblings Awards (1999)
Hanni favorites from the first three seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Written and posted by Natalie (PrincssNat) 6/4/99
NATALIE
Hello, and welcome to the second annual Ramblings Awards. I'm Natalie, here with my brother Nick Haha and as always my Oz.
NICK
Hi.
OZ
That's what I was going to say.
NICK
Where's your Ewan clone?
NATALIE
Shut up. Like last year, we're broadcasting live from the corner of Sunnydale and Harvest, and we have Dingoes Ate My Baby playing the background music. Think we can make this shorter than last year's broadcast?
NICK
Hopefully. So what's the first category?
OZ
I've got the card for that. And the award for best storyline goes to... Angel turning to the dark side.
NATALIE
Where's Angel to accept his award?
OZ
Packing up for his move to his new series.
NATALIE
Great. It's last year all over again! Okay, so next category. Nick, this one's yours.
NICK
Okay. The award for Moment You Started Bawling Like a Baby goes to... Angel goes to hell, for the second year in a row!
NATALIE
And Angel's packing. Yay. Couple you wish would break up so you could date one of them? Willow and Oz won by a landslide. Um, Oz, I guess this award is yours then.
NICK
Considering Buffy and Angel already broke up and Xander's currently single...
OZ
I don't like this award.
NATALIE
Hey!
OZ
You've got the Ewan cabana boy now.
NATALIE
Oh yeah, you slept with Willow!
OZ
It was in the script! Can we discuss this later and move onto our next award?
NATALIE
Oz, your turn.
OZ
Character you most want to be eaten by dingoes... Harmony!
NATALIE
Or the most amusing answer came from Zeing, who said TED, with Ampata on the side.
NICK
Where's Harmony?
NATALIE
Well, if she survived Graduation 2- hopefully not- she probably wouldn't want to come to accept this award.
NICK
Next award is best fight. And the award goes to, Buffy and Angel in Becoming, for the second year in a row! I'm seeing a trend.
OZ
At least we know last year's wins weren't a fluke. The award for best quote goes to Spike for "I may be man's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." And of course Spike is off finding Drusilla somewhere and can't accept the award.
NATALIE
I'm seeing a gr coming on. Okay, next. Our opinion poll, Faith-full or Faith-less... I swear to God, it came in at a dead tie. And since I read the spoilers for Graduation, I didn't expect Faith to be here. I'm not saying why.
OZ
My turn again. Most painful injury goes to Willow, for getting smashed by the bookcase. I'm having trouble believing that beat Cordelia getting impaled.
NATALIE
People are just more sympathetic to Willow, I guess. Is she here to accept the award?
WILLOW
I'm here!
Willow comes up to the stage to accept her award.
NICK
See, Willow was nice enough to show.
WILLOW
Joss would have come, but he's terrified that you'll all kill him for the episodes getting pulled. Do I have to make a speech?
NATALIE
Go ahead.
WILLOW
Um, thanks to the people that recognized that getting a bookcase push onto you and putting you into a coma really hurts. Thank you! I'll see you all later.
Willow leaves.
NICK
The award for character you wish they would bring back goes to Spike and/or Drusilla. Who are not here. I'm seeing another trend.
NATALIE
Wow, we're making good time. I've only written 2 pages so far. Anyway. The award for best recurring character goes to... Jonathan! Who is actually here.
Jonathan comes to accept the Gold Frog Award.
JONATHAN
I'd like to thank the Academy, and the voters, and my mom, and of course my biggest supporter Elizabeth. Thank you!
Jonathan leaves.
NICK
I'm willing to bet he didn't write that protector award speech himself, huh?
OZ
The next award goes for Giles' best tweeded moment, and it would be his first scenes with Jenny. By the way, Giles isn't coming.
NATALIE
One day they will come. It might take a few years, but... Next award.
NICK
Oh, that would be me. The award for best song goes to Sarah McLachlan for Full of Grace. For the second year in a row. Again.
NATALIE
And of course we couldn't get Sarah to come. Her agent kept hanging up on me. Oh, it's my turn. The award for the moment you wanted to throw something at the TV goes to... the episodes being canceled!
NICK
I guess Joss didn't want to come.
NATALIE
Can you blame him? I don't think he wants to deal with the angry mob.
NICK
Well, anyway, our next award is ickiest plot point. The award goes to those box creature thingies. Which I'm glad declined to attend.
OZ
Because the Mayor had to eat them.
NICK
But they're not here, are they?
OZ
Next award is for the moment you wished you knew what the hell Joss was doing. And the award goes to the whole evil Angel thing. Which also won for best storyline. Wait a minute.
NATALIE
Just smile and nod. We're down to the last award!
Cheers from the crowd, at least those who aren't snoring yet.
NATALIE
The award for best episode goes to...
The Dingoes play a drumroll.
NATALIE
For the second year in a row, Becoming!
NICK
So what's next? Oh, we're done?
NATALIE
Yeah. Well, now what?
OZ
Nick's off to Europe in a few days, didn't you say you'd treat him to another viewing of Star Wars?
NICK
I like that idea.
OZ
I'll treat you, Princess. As long as you're not drooling over Obi-wan the whole time.
NATALIE
I love you, Oz. Thank you to all the people who voted, and we'll be back next year! Play us out, Dingoes?
The Dingoes play music as the show goes to credits.
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